1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
