I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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