woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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