Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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