Your face is a jimmy john
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
