Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
