she kept yelling 'call me bella'
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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