she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
