I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
