I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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