Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
