That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
