It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
