It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
