I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Floor bacon is actually really good
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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