I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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