Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
