Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
bring money and cleavage
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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