Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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