dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
