She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
