Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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