That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Randomize
