You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
