Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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