If that was your dad, he is hot
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
