woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
