spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
