I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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