im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
