I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm too high and old for this...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
