in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you win again, gameday.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
