I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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