THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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