whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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