no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
