so explain again why im purple
no
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
