I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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