i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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