Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Randomize
