I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
