I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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