wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
