god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
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