Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
