omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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