I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
