u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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