The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
