I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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