dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
