you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
