did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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