ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
