we have pet lesbian snakes
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
im holly from the hills drunk
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My breasts were aching with rage.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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