he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize