quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
