I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
zippers are such a cool invention
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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